The Best Valentine’s Day Gifts by Randy Rowley 2/18/11 ©

Around the first of every February, many men start to get a panicked “deer in the headlights” look.  What causes such widespread alarm?  The end of deer and duck seasons?  Christmas bills?  Income taxes?  No, it’s the “What am I going to get her for Valentine’s Day this year dilemma.”

Although some women give gifts on Valentine’s Day, do not be deceived!  It’s her day!  It’s more important for many women than their anniversary, birthday, or Christmas, and it only takes second fiddle to their wedding day!  And like our weddings, Valentine’s Day gives us men annual opportunities to make fools of ourselves and do things wrong!

Opportunities to err are almost endless.  We take our wives out to nice restaurants and buy them chocolates, and then they accuse us of trying to make them fat!  We buy them unique flowers and discover she’s allergic to them.  We buy them jewelry and learn it’s the wrong style, color, or size.  We finally get it right and repeat it the following year, thinking, “I’ll hit another home run,” only to learn the effort was, “so yesterday.”  Valentine’s day is not for the weak-kneed!

As I calculated the odds of giving an acceptable gift this year, it occurred to me I had it within my means to give my wife gifts that would long outlast roses, chocolates, and romantic dinners.  And she would always appreciate them, they would never go out of style, and they’re always her size and color.  What are these miraculous gifts called?  Although they’re called many names, I’m convinced that truthfulness, understanding, and appreciation are the top three.

Truthfulness

Throughout his ministry, Jesus didn’t shy away from speaking the truth, which often involved telling the religious leaders of the day not what they wanted to hear, including calling them such gems as a brood of vipers, whitewashed tombs, and hypocrites.  There weren’t very many instances where Jesus praised individuals, especially when he first met them.  An exception was Nathanael.  John 1:47 says, “When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said of him, “Here truly is an Israelite in whom there is no deceit.’”

Ephesians 4:14-15 says, “Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming.  Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.”

Speaking the truth in love and having no deceit means no cheating, deception, trickery, or betrayal.  To emulate Nathanael means when our wives ask how much a hunt will cost, we don’t just tell her the guide fee – we tell her the whole enchilada (guide fee, tip, lodging, gas, and food).  It also means we don’t secretly put aside “our” money to buy a new shotgun, bow, rod & reel combo, etc.

Understanding

1 Peter 3:7 (NLT) says, “In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives.  Treat her with understanding as you live together.  She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life.  If you don’t treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard.”

We must make every effort to learn and periodically re-evaluate our wives’ needs, joys, strengths, aspirations, and fears.  But possessing knowledge is not enough – we must try our best to understand our wives, including the things that don’t make sense to us, such as not wanting us to go on a planned deer hunt and instead spend the weekend together.  When something like that happens, it’s probably not because they don’t want us to have any fun.  Could it be because we haven’t spent enough time together recently?  Our wives need to know they’re still our top priority.

Understanding them also means recognizing when they’ve had a hard day and when we need to tell them to relax and let us handle everything – cook, do the laundry, draw their bath, or rub their back.

Appreciation

In Matthew 25:14-30, Jesus talked about heaven and his second coming (his return to the earth).  He told about a man who went on a trip and left money with three servants.  Two of the servants put the money to work and doubled it.  When their master returned and learned of what they had done, he rewarded them and told them, “Well done.”

Our wives yearn to hear us say, “Well done!”  It’s easy for us men to take for granted everything, little and big, our wives do for us.  Cooking when exhausted after a hard day at work, washing our sweaty clothes, and keeping our houses clean despite our best efforts to dirty them up are just a few of the many things they do to keep our ships afloat.  How long has it been since we told our wives, “Thank you!” or “I appreciate you!”

1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”  1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NLT) says, “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”  A man who encourages his wife and expresses appreciation to her for everything she does never has to worry about getting the right Valentine’s Day gift.

A man might think giving his wife things says, “I love you.”  But love is much more than giving presents.  It’s the process of dying to self and by our words and actions elevating the helpmate God gave us to her rightful place – right by our sides.  If you don’t already know, I hope you’ll discover that the best things to give your wife aren’t things!