The Best Valentine’s Day Gifts by Randy Rowley 2/18/11 ©


Around the first of every February, many men start to get a panicked “deer in the headlights” look.  What causes such widespread alarm?  The end of deer and duck seasons?  Christmas bills?  Income taxes?  No, it’s the “What am I going to get her for Valentine’s Day this year dilemma.”
Although some women give gifts on Valentine’s Day, do not be deceived!  It’s her day!  It’s more important for many women than their anniversary, birthday, Christmas, and it only takes second fiddle to their wedding day!  And like our weddings, Valentine’s Day gives us men annual opportunities to make fools of ourselves and do things wrong!

Opportunities to err are almost endless.  You take your wife out to a nice restaurant and buy her chocolates, and then she accuses you of trying to make her fat!  You buy her unique flowers and find out that she’s allergic to them.  You buy her jewelry and learn it’s the wrong style, color, or size.  You finally get it right and then repeat it the following year, thinking, “I’ll hit another home run,” only to learn that your effort was “so yesterday.”  Valentine’s day is not for the weak-kneed!

As I calculated the odds of giving an acceptable gift this year, it occurred to me that I had it within my means to give my wife gifts that would long outlast roses, chocolates, and romantic dinners.  And she would always appreciate them, they would never go out of style, and they’re always her size and color.  What are these miraculous gifts called?  Although there are many, I’m convinced that the top three are truthfulness, understanding, and appreciation.


Throughout his ministry, Jesus habitually spoke the truth, which often involved telling the religious leaders of the day not what they wanted to hear, including calling them such gems as a brood of vipers, whitewashed tombs, and hypocrites.  There weren’t very many instances where Jesus praised individuals, especially when he first met them.  An exception was Nathanael.  John 1:47 says, “When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said of him, “Here truly is an Israelite in whom there is no deceit.’”

Ephesians 4:14-15 says, “Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming.  Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.”

Speaking the truth in love and having no deceit means no cheating, deception, trickery, or betrayal.  To emulate Nathanael means that when your wife asks you how much a hunt will cost, we don’t just tell her the guide fee – we tell her the whole enchilada – tip, lodging, gas, and food.  It also means that we don’t secretly put aside “our” money to buy a new shotgun, bow, rod & reel combo, etc.


1 Peter 3:7 (NLT) says, “In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives.  Treat her with understanding as you live together.  She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life.  If you don’t treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard.”

Make every effort to learn and periodically re-evaluate your wife’s needs, joys, strengths, aspirations, and fears.  But possessing that knowledge is not enough – you must try your best to understand your wife, including the things that don’t make sense to you, such as not wanting you to go on your planned deer hunt and instead spend the weekend with her.  When that happens, it’s probably not that she doesn’t want you to have any fun.  Rather, it could be you haven’t spent enough time with her recently, and she needs to know that she’s still your top priority.

Understanding her also means recognizing when she has had a hard day and when you need to tell her to relax and let you handle things.  Cook for her, do the laundry, draw her bath, or rub her back.


In Matthew 25:14-30, Jesus talked about heaven and his second coming (his return to the earth).  He told about a man who went on a trip and left money with three servants.  Two of the servants put the money to work and doubled it.  When their master returned and learned of what they had done, he rewarded them and told them, “Well done.”

Your wife yearns to hear you tell her, “Well done!”  It’s easy for us men to take for granted everything, little and big, that our wives do for us.  Cooking when exhausted after a hard day at work, washing our sweaty clothes, and keeping our houses clean despite our best efforts to dirty them up are just a few of the many things they do to keep our ships afloat.  How long has it been since you told your wife, “Thank you!” or “I appreciate you!”

1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”  1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NLT) says, “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”  A man who encourages his wife and expresses appreciation to her for everything she does never has to worry about getting the right Valentine’s Day gift.

A man might think giving his wife things says, “I love you.”  But love is much more than that.  It’s the process of dying to self and by your words and actions elevating the helpmate that God gave you to her rightful place – right by your side.

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But who am I, and who are my people, That we should be able to offer so willingly as this? For all things come from You, And of Your own we have given You.


 January 2022